Why Do I Do This?
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One of the most commonly asked question about this site is "Why do you do this?" (The other is "What does 'Dead Hero mean?") There are a few reasons.

To be completely honest, this whole thing started as an ego trip. My first web page was called Neverland, and it was made in 1995, before most people knew what the web was. I was the third person in my dept. at school to have a page, and one of the first 30 in the whole school. So it was an ego thing... "I have a web page." And it included a section called "KRA-Ztrain", which was the Ramblings predecessor. It was a place for me to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about, my own forum. So it was a matter of being able to express myself as well.

That site died when I graduated and left school. Later on discovered a news group about some woman's writing. She was doing something like what KRA-Ztrain was, only on a bigger and better scale, adding to it short stories. And people had started a VERY active news group about her. I thought, hell I can do this. I'd love to have that kind of attention to my writings. So I wanted to do this site form another ego angle. But it didn't happen. Not until the following summer, and not for that reason.

When I visited a psychic for some guidance, I told her about how I wanted to put all my journals into a book one day called "Diary of a Dead Hero". It wasn't about the ego, it was about possibly inspiring or guiding others. I believe in learning from other's mistakes. Simply, I'm not going to live long enough to learn from making all those mistake myself. So maybe people can learn from my mistakes, and lord knows there are a lot of them. And maybe people can be inspired by my successes. And if all else fails, maybe I can make people think about things in ways they hadn't yet. The psychic told me it was time to to write that book. So instead of writing the book, I went to something I know better... web sites.

That's why I do this in the most part. This is still done in part to be a forum of my own as well as a showcase for my work. But the ego angle has been replaced almost entirely by something better... and I can't think of the word right now. =)

The other question concerning why I do this is usually "how can you pen up your diaries for everyone to read?"

This was an issue with my ex-girlfriend, and it took some time to make her understand. I already explained WHY I do it. But people can't understand me giving up my private life to everyone. But in fact, it's not that harsh. One, I only write what I want to write. And despite what I would like do, there are some things left out because I know people are reading them. There are also some things put I solely because I know people are reading them. Two, you need a password to get into my diaries. Granted it doesn't take much to get a password, but I do it not to keep only certain people reading them, but more so to keep certain people out. People like possible employers that look at my work, and people I know can hurt me. And that leads to Three, most people reading the diaries can't hurt me. Only someone you let into your heart can hurt you with your feelings. I learned how destructive letting people I'm involved with read my diaries can be. There are always questions like "how could you write that?" "that's not true." "I can't believe you didn't write about that." "I don't want people knowing that." "That gives a bad impression of me." "Why didn't you tell me about this before you wrote it..."

So that is why I don't want people I'm involved with reading the diaries. My close friends have access, and there have been some issues there. But the way I see things, it is your choice to read my not-so-private thoughts, so don't go looking for things you don't want to find... odds are, you're going to find them.