What's In, What's Out?
10.08.99

No, this isn't about what hip and what's not, what's out and what's hot. This isn't about trends and shit. This is about what goes into this site and what doesn't... because it's caused trouble before and I'm sure it will again.

Simply, there is no RULE about what makes it onto the site and what gets excluded. Well, there are rules for the Prose and Portfolio sections... just because I created it, doesn't mean it's good... and if it's not at least DECENT, it's not going up. But, as you can tell from other sections, sometimes, the fact that it's pure crap is what gets it onto the site. I can find value in laughing at myself and my work. So the rule doesn't always apply.

The Ramblings are a collection of extended thoughts, I guess. There are world, local, political, philosophical events, etc... that I think pretty deeply about, that I develop a rather well thought-out opinion on... that still don't make it to the site. Why? Maybe because I'm too busy or too fuckin lazy to write at the time. Maybe, as was the case with the Kosovo Crisis, the situation changes so much that I have to reevaluate my stand and start writing all over again so many times, that it's just not worth it anymore.

And sometimes the smallest and dumbest things inspire me to write Ramblings, and they could have no baring on the rest of the world (not that much of my site DOES)... but they make it to the site.

Now here comes the biggest reason I'm writing this Rambling now... The Diary. I've had the contents of my diary cause SO much shit it's ridiculous. I had a girlfriend that complained that I never wrote about her... until I finally did. And she was happy about that... until things weren't so good between us, and then she wasn't very happy about being written about. And it wasn't the only time that's happened (though it was the worst). And there were questions all the time about why I didn't write about something, or why I DID write about something else. And usually, there are no big reasons to distinguish the two. Which is what makes this whole project so surreal...

They say that history is written by the winners. History has been changed time and time again by people to suit their needs, either at said history's first creation, or later on at various revisions. Which makes you wonder what actually is true abut ANY given topic's history. So, by creating the Diary, I'm writing my own history, making sure that the truth is told. But the truth is lost sometimes in my own omissions. And certain events are given greater importance than others, either by the way I've written about them, or just by the fact that I've written about them at all. So in a way, I'm creating my own inaccurate, if not false, history. Funny huh? The truth can't even be told in full by the person creating the story.

Which reminds me of a simple maxim that rules my judgments... There are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.

Never forget that, because it's truth in all circumstances. Then again, whose truth is that?