The New Ten Commandments
01.19.00

Welcome to the Christian year 2000. The Millennium. There was no Rapture. No Armageddon. No Judgment Day. Not even a blackout. We are well into the new year, the new millennium, and thanks to it's lackluster entrance, many modern-day Doomsday prophets are being forced to look at life anew. People are questioning their beliefs that led them to their hysterics. Which is why I am here.

This Rambling is more of a directive handed down to me, created to serve two purposes... two proclamations really. So pay attention.

Proclamation #1: The words you are reading are not of a mere man. Not even of a mere dead hero. They are the words that I write with Divine Guidance. The words come to you, not from my mind, but from the voice of the Higher Power. You may call this power "God", "Elohim", "Allah", "Yahweh", "The Great Spirit", "The All", or any number of names. But it is this power, this deity that speaks these words through me. Therefore, what you are about to read (and all that is written in these pages) should be regarded as the words and the laws of one higher than man.

Proclamation #2: In Judeo-Christian history there is the tale of Moses, who in his time on Mount Sinai, spoke directly to God (which is how the higher power will be referred to here for simplicity's sake) and was charged with recording God's Law: The Ten Commandments. If this doesn't sound too familiar, go rent the Charlton Heston flick. However, over time, either these laws seem to have been forgotten, or outright ignored. It may be because some of these laws seem too detached from the times we live in. Maybe it's because some of them just aren't understood (How many of you can accurately define "covet" anyway?).

So I am charged with bringing to you... and this means ALL OF YOU (not just the Christians and Jews) the revised edition of those ancient laws with some explanation for those of you who just can't figure it out (the explanations come afterwards)...


The New Commandments

1. You shall have no other gods besides Me

2. You will accept the idols made by others

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God too seriously

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it yours

5. Honor your father and your mother, and respect your children

6. You shall not murder

7. You shall not cheat on your loved ones.

8. You shall not steal

9. You shall not, in any way, harm your neighbor

10. You may covet, but may not act on your desires


Okay, some explanations...

1. You shall have no other gods besides Me
Easy enough. But let's set things straight. This means that God IS Elohim, who is Allah, who is Yahweh, who is The Great Spirit, who is The All... and so on. Meaning: NO MORE HOLY WARS. No more killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend. They're all the same friend.
This is not to say that our different religions should be combined into one. That's no solution. These are all different paths to the same end. Which end? Well, you'll just have to wait to find out.

2. You will accept the idols made by others
As we already covered, there are many paths to the same end, and to the same God. Whether someone else's God and their faith is represented by some intersecting lines, or a fat guy sitting and smiling, they are of the same being. Everyone has a different perspective of the same event or person. Accept them all as truth, as real and as valid as your own.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God too seriously
History has shown us the results of people taking their beliefs too far. Pain, persecution, destruction, death. Crusades. Convert or die missions. Terrorist bombings. Ireland. The Middle East. Gay bashing. Doctors being killed for performing abortions. More hurt has been caused in the various names of God than should ever have been tolerated.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it yours
It's written in Exodus 20:11 "For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."
Even God couldn't work a full week straight. And neither can you. For your own mental health... take a day. No housework, no yard work, no work work. Take one day on the weekend to get all the shit work around he house done, and take the other to blow off the rest of the world. It's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

5. Honor your father and your mother, and respect your children
Too many parents think that "respect your parents" means "fear and obey your parents". Which do you really want? Fear and obedience that comes from forcing kids to behave? Or the respect that comes when you respect them... making them WANT to behave. Even to young people, respect has to be earned. If you respect them as people, they will respect you as such... and honor you as well.

6. You shall not murder
No need to change this one... too many people still haven't figured it out yet. Killing begets killing. Live by the sword and you will die by the sword. Or gun, as it's become. It's really that simple. Call it "God's Will". Call it "Poetic Justice". Call it whatever you want. And you can call Biggie Smalls and 2-Pac and ask them what they think.

7. You shall not cheat on your loved ones
Perhaps no one really follows the law about "adultery" because if you're not married, it's not adultery. And by time you ARE married, the pattern is already set. But the law holds for those dating, in love, married, divorced, or just plain boinking. If for no other reason, then the pain it causes the person you cheated on. Never mind the Golden Rule. Check that rewrite at the end of this Rambling. But it DOES come back to you. And it all continues the cycle of hurt. Break a heart, and they will end up breaking another. End the cycle.

8. You shall not steal
Once again, no need to change this one. People still haven't learned to keep clean. But they learn eventually. The Golden Rule in effect. It all comes around. I speak from my own experience as well as with the inspiration of the Higher. I used to be a shoplifter. Until I knew I could get in serious trouble for it. But that fear was nothing until I was robbed of very valuable things... on the very night I had been bragging about my old escapades in theft. And I'm assured that I am not the only one to have learned this lesson.

9. You shall not, in any way, harm your neighbor
Respect your neighbors. Not bearing false witness is only the beginning. No physical pain, no emotional pain, no harassment, no lies, no theft (again), no assault, no rape... NO HARM. That should be easy enough. Respect them.

10. You may covet, but may not act on your desires
Covet: to desire (what belongs to another) inordinately or culpably.
To desire what someone else has is natural. We gauge our success on possessions, and judge ourselves against others by their possessions. So it's only natural to really want what someone else has, to covet it. Just don't act on those desires. Don't steal. Don't cheat. Don't destroy. It's all about respect.


And as I promised, the Golden Rule...
"What you do onto others will be done onto you"

Look around And look at patterns in the world, And you will have every argument you need as proof of that statement. Even if you don't believe that these are the words of a higher authority. But, of course, we already covered that point, didn't we?

Go forth And spread the word.